Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
