I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
