PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
