Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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