We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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