And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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