they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
