Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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