Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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