Duck Duck Cougar?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
