glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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