i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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