Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
