South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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