Please, let me fuck your mom
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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