God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
