ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
