Your tits are I can't wait for
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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