Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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