I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
