I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
