Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
