Me too!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
