I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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