he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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