On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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