Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
