Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
