Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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