was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
