he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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