dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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