theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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