That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
