Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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