I hate all girls vehemently.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
