It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
