Sponge bath it is.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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