then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
