i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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