I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
