did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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