So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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