stop calling my apartment porn island.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
