ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
