I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
