I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
