Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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