Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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