eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
