so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
