you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
