I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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