He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
