Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
