Tell her she can't have a vagina
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
