he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
