remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize