New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just had sex on a roof
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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