Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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