I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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