shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.