yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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