i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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