I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
